What a whirlwind of a week this is turning out to be. I'm finding myself staying in school from morning til night for wed, thur and possibly even friday. What makes it worse is the timebomb that is slowly ticking at the back of my mind, aka assignments and research papers due. Having said that, I have found some time amidst all this for some introspection.
Tonight I watched Sepet during research methods class. Its basically a love story between a malay girl and a chinese boy in Malaysia. While the topic it deals with is controversial enough, I find myself increasingly shocked by the simple beauty and elegance in a film made in Malaysia. I never thought I'd find myself impressed by Malaysian or Singaporean fim-making. But here I am, in RSIS, being taught several whole new lessons, the least of which is never to underestimate the creative prowess of very backward countries.
It is ironic, isn't it? That the very institutions (such as religion, education, work, yadda yadda yadda) that promise to unite us, have driven us all further apart than before. We have all been categorized and compartmentalized into neat little identities which we subscribe to, with much zeal. The minute we take up that identity, then we cease to see ourselves as humans, but you, me and mrs jones. The minute we take up a socially defined identity, we find ourselves at odds with those who do not share this identity with us. And the thought of this possibility surely provides some discomfort.
I think the problem is with intentions. Every time we create an institution with the intention of doing something, we end up failing to do what we started out to do in the first place. Remember the IMF, Durai or Venerable Ming Yi? In stark contrast, when we try to suppress something that emerged universally, it comes back stronger than before. My favourite example is capitalism. Plainly put, a drive for money and success has turned Marxism on its head and given democracy a bad name in some places. Yet, it is so unerringly universal that no country in the world can escape from capitalism anymore.
Doesn't necessarily mean its a good thing, but it sure as hell is super consistent. Plainly put, ego and hubris have resulted in the humongous error of thinking that everything which we create and which we validate for each other is correct. Another seminal film, The Fight Club, proclaims that we made God in the image of our fathers. Yes, there may be divinity, but we have certainly perverted it with the centuries of bias in our construction of religion. Man is the architect of his own demise after all.
So Adam Smith was a political philosopher after all. The invisible hand is still the predominant force for organising society, whether economically or socially. Importantly, where do we go from here? Are we ready to let go of all the preconceived notions of identity we have found ourselves clinging on to for safety and security?
Are we ready to question every teaching, every notion that is passed on to us, just as Buddha demanded in the Dharmmapadda? (Yes, question even his own teachings, that was his mantra and a damn good one if you ask me.)
Ang Heng
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
A Glimpse from Boomerang Road..
Hi guys, this is the long awaited pics of my dwelling. Sorry it took so long. damn busy with stuff.. The leaves are falling off for new flowers to bloom so when that happens i'll take more photos.
Those are the sights that greets me everyday when I wake up. I just realised my garden is a mini zoo. Plenty of wildlife. Can somebody pls identify the reptile in the pic? its damn big but not aggressive at all. I reckon there are at least 5 of those in my garden now.
Yes, we have to take out the thrash every week. haha.. ok that's all for now, next time I'll upload Uni pics..
Enjoy ur weekends!~
God Bless,
alvin
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
A conversation I had.
A conversation I had on MSN with my friend. It summarised the problems I have now and the frustration I face.
Note: Since this is a MSN conversation, it is really full of BAD ENGLISH. So if you are really hooked by the recent English we have going on in the blog. Please stop reading now.
“Blackburn aka Terence says:
family problem + work problem + Her = frustration
which one u wanna hear?
Friend Says:
whichever is bothering u most
Blackburn aka Terence says:
it is family actually
u see... i am like the guy in the house now. I am much more patient than both my sisters
but nowadays my parents and my sister keep quarreling
then i am always stuck in the middle
its hard for me
then i understand my parents are old and tired
so i kept thinking if i should help them in their business
should i just quit and help them...
it makes me feel like I am not doing the right thing when they are so busy and i am not helping them.
like i am a bad son
........that the end of the family problem
as for work... I feel torn too... cos i work with 2 seniors. A and B. A is the one that taught me at the start, but due to her position, she is not free or around most of her time. So I end up looking for B when i have problems. So every time, i feel torn between them when they do things differently. A is more strict. B is more relax
I try my best to follow A. But working as a team, I'll need B help too. Thus, it end up a bit political.
Really sucks. But I guess for this, i must really learn to cope with these issues
Friend Says:
yaa i guess it is unavoidable in the working world
Blackburn aka Terence says:
I believe i can handle it and become a better person
at least in the working world.
as for her....
i just feel that it is coming back
actually it was fine all along, as in we will go lunch in groups and stuff
and at those time, i know i like her but i really try to make it friendly
but then there was once when I have lunch alone with her.
IT WAS REALLY GOOD.
The problem of like having no topic is like gone, the problem of us having no chemistry does not seem to be true
I really felt happy
and as u know, we volunteered in the same group that day
after that day, i know I am getting the feeling back
but i tried to hide it
after the lunch, it seem impossible.
then even today, we have a bowling competition by our employer. Randomly we were chosen in the same team.
All in all, it was too good. too fun. too happy. And the feeling just HAD to be there.
and then i started to get worry to get scared. worry and scared of what is not even happening
I worry that if we get together, we may break up
i worry that if i ask her out, and she reject me, I may never dare to ask her again
i scared of what is not happening
or what could happen if all the "what if" happens. But I really feel like asking her out
but going forward, i realise the problem with me is that I am worried abt the "what if" in relationship. That is y i pressure myself to find the ONE and not anyone else.
and that is y I always end up giving up something that is almost there
hor that all the "almost there" is not successful.”
That is the end of the summary in an edited weird MSN format.
Life is never smooth sailing, try to think on bright side. - An advice from me to myself
Blackburn
Note: Since this is a MSN conversation, it is really full of BAD ENGLISH. So if you are really hooked by the recent English we have going on in the blog. Please stop reading now.
“Blackburn aka Terence says:
family problem + work problem + Her = frustration
which one u wanna hear?
Friend Says:
whichever is bothering u most
Blackburn aka Terence says:
it is family actually
u see... i am like the guy in the house now. I am much more patient than both my sisters
but nowadays my parents and my sister keep quarreling
then i am always stuck in the middle
its hard for me
then i understand my parents are old and tired
so i kept thinking if i should help them in their business
should i just quit and help them...
it makes me feel like I am not doing the right thing when they are so busy and i am not helping them.
like i am a bad son
........that the end of the family problem
as for work... I feel torn too... cos i work with 2 seniors. A and B. A is the one that taught me at the start, but due to her position, she is not free or around most of her time. So I end up looking for B when i have problems. So every time, i feel torn between them when they do things differently. A is more strict. B is more relax
I try my best to follow A. But working as a team, I'll need B help too. Thus, it end up a bit political.
Really sucks. But I guess for this, i must really learn to cope with these issues
Friend Says:
yaa i guess it is unavoidable in the working world
Blackburn aka Terence says:
I believe i can handle it and become a better person
at least in the working world.
as for her....
i just feel that it is coming back
actually it was fine all along, as in we will go lunch in groups and stuff
and at those time, i know i like her but i really try to make it friendly
but then there was once when I have lunch alone with her.
IT WAS REALLY GOOD.
The problem of like having no topic is like gone, the problem of us having no chemistry does not seem to be true
I really felt happy
and as u know, we volunteered in the same group that day
after that day, i know I am getting the feeling back
but i tried to hide it
after the lunch, it seem impossible.
then even today, we have a bowling competition by our employer. Randomly we were chosen in the same team.
All in all, it was too good. too fun. too happy. And the feeling just HAD to be there.
and then i started to get worry to get scared. worry and scared of what is not even happening
I worry that if we get together, we may break up
i worry that if i ask her out, and she reject me, I may never dare to ask her again
i scared of what is not happening
or what could happen if all the "what if" happens. But I really feel like asking her out
but going forward, i realise the problem with me is that I am worried abt the "what if" in relationship. That is y i pressure myself to find the ONE and not anyone else.
and that is y I always end up giving up something that is almost there
hor that all the "almost there" is not successful.”
That is the end of the summary in an edited weird MSN format.
Life is never smooth sailing, try to think on bright side. - An advice from me to myself
Blackburn
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