As the first month of 2010 comes to a close, I find myself getting closer and closer to turning 26 with each passing day. No that old, but far from young. I find myself increasingly frustrated by the situation I'm in. So much to do, so much to tell. So precious little time.
I have half a year left before I embark on another new phase in life, another fork in the road is waiting for me. There could not have been any more at stake than this: my youth and energy.
I know I've been convinced that I'll go on to my phd after my masters, but now it seems that the choice is not so simple after all.
It has come to my attention that I know very precious little of the world I find myself working so hard to justify. Yes, going into the working world will grant me that experience from the ground, give me that bit of grit to my academic and intellectual growth. Not to mention financial stability. Importantly, it may just save my sanity.
There is a hole in me. I've always thought doing my phd would give me time to think and figure out what exactly it is that I'm feeling. I find myself becoming incessantly aggressive and debative, fighting in the name of dead men. Dead men who haunt me because of the questions they've forced me to ask of myself.
So much time was spent on existantialist philosophy and post-modern writing, trying to decipher the codes these prophets (or heretics?) spoke in, hoping to find an answer to the intellectual chasm I feel in me. Worse yet, I feel a hunger to fill that hole. There is something I need to say and I don't know how to. The hunger aches most when things stagnate, running is no real cure for it anymore. There never was a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
The way is no longer clear and the person who understood all this betrayed me. Its going to be a long february ahead.
Ang Heng
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
Demons and Airwaves
How long does it take for me to drive home from ntu at peak hour? 2 hours.
2 hours of excruciating stop-and-go, not to mention crappy radio advertisements.
Take Amore fitness for example: "go show the men how you can work it" (some fitness event)
Maybe I'm just being sensitive (being in an academic environments where half the girls hold some sort of feminist, neo-marxist ideal), but this is the sort of crap that women seeking emanicipation from a patriachal, engendered society have to put up with. Subtle digs at presupposed female weaknesses and blatant subject positioning in order to maintain a status quo that disadvantages women.
Of course it is sad that many women have come to accept such a status quo and become numbed to the point of apathy, leading to a vicious cycle of self-fulfilling discrimination. It is even worse that many of my fellow men will no doubt disagree with my sympathy for the feminist movement.
However, I do have one key point of contention with regards to feminist discourse: the meaning of the term MCP.
Pigs are rather intelligent.
I'd prefer a break-down to male chauvinist patsy and male chauvinist pansy (using their own lingo). The patsy's are the gullible morons who subscribe to whatever views their fellow in-group happens to subscribe to. The pansy's are the ones who do not dare challenge the blatant fact that half of the world's population faces some sort of discrimination or other every single day.
Definitely, the excuse of one man not being able to make a difference is simply that: an excuse.
For well you know that that its a fool who plays it cool,
By making his world a little colder.
Ang Heng/JJ
2 hours of excruciating stop-and-go, not to mention crappy radio advertisements.
Take Amore fitness for example: "go show the men how you can work it" (some fitness event)
Maybe I'm just being sensitive (being in an academic environments where half the girls hold some sort of feminist, neo-marxist ideal), but this is the sort of crap that women seeking emanicipation from a patriachal, engendered society have to put up with. Subtle digs at presupposed female weaknesses and blatant subject positioning in order to maintain a status quo that disadvantages women.
Of course it is sad that many women have come to accept such a status quo and become numbed to the point of apathy, leading to a vicious cycle of self-fulfilling discrimination. It is even worse that many of my fellow men will no doubt disagree with my sympathy for the feminist movement.
However, I do have one key point of contention with regards to feminist discourse: the meaning of the term MCP.
Pigs are rather intelligent.
I'd prefer a break-down to male chauvinist patsy and male chauvinist pansy (using their own lingo). The patsy's are the gullible morons who subscribe to whatever views their fellow in-group happens to subscribe to. The pansy's are the ones who do not dare challenge the blatant fact that half of the world's population faces some sort of discrimination or other every single day.
Definitely, the excuse of one man not being able to make a difference is simply that: an excuse.
For well you know that that its a fool who plays it cool,
By making his world a little colder.
Ang Heng/JJ
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)