Asymmetric Symmetry

Two images struck me on the way to soccer yesterday. First one: an elderly man leaning on a tree on the road median, along with a walking stick. Waiting to cross the road. Second one: A row of cars stopped at the traffic light of a cross junction, 3 silver, 1 light purple, all new and shiney, stopped neatly in a row, waiting to cross the junction.

While the first image prompted thoughts of humanity and nature and how humans have always been leaning on and reliant on nature for its survival and sanity, the second image spoke volumes of the perversity of mankind and its eternal obsession with symmetry. Left and right, top and bottom, all things with their complementary opposites. (complementary opposites clearly represent an oxymoron representing Man's fear of true difference, this probably warrants an entire post on its own.)

If we could, we'd have turned the Earth into a massive cube.

Because we are unable to do that, we instead turn upon ourselves and try to make everyone around us images of ourselves. The things we cannot understand, we try to rationalise and mould into something we can. It has never occured to any of us that we could change ourselves to suit circumstances, and circumstances were never meant to suit us. If they did, then its called coincidence.

The end result is not the symmetry we desire, but repetition. Each individual thus becomes a fractal of a whole not splintered, but replicated endlessly. Like Poe's dream within a dream, we seek to become a miniature of the world as we understand it through pop culture and new media.

Since the destruction of the self is in effect the destruction of its image, true difference is shunned and discouraged. Who wants to see an image of himself destroyed or disfigured? Social relations then becomes the mutual maintenance of ego's in a bid to protect the self (not social) identity through the status quo.

Ang Heng

Of Love and Other Nasty Stuff

Supper with Kumar, Teh, Ah du + Meow and Talen. Inevitably, the question "when gao yin?" (when getting married, for the uninitiated) had to come up.

Let's have a pool. Who is going to get married first among us all? Who will produce the very first GMH 2.0? For the sake of a more interested (and less sane) future generation, I hope that happens sometime soon. (doesn't mean i hope for tiao kia though)

Another interesting conversation topic was the important trade-off between "guai guai" (decent) and interesting in a potential date. Having tried interesting twice, I can't help feeling quite shy right now, having been bitten on both occasions. I should follow my father's doctor's advice to find a teacher or a doctor. Guai, smart and caring. Then again, having met several of our moulders of the future, I'm more worried about the potential presence of a guai (weird) factor.

A doctor is a good idea too. (Aside from the aesthetic cool factor of having two Dr Woo's at the same time, yes shallow me) You can get an endless supply of MC's as well as the constant assurance that you are healthy and nothing's wrong with you (such as heart problems, diabetes, erectile dysfunction, and any other potential medical nastys that require money-consuming medical check-ups). Doctors are probably caring too.

However, at the end of the day, advice is advice. What we all want is somebody who cares about us and loves us. (plus provides us with good PP, according to du) Life is great when you're single and you can speculate on what you want or what you can have and not having to worry about whether what you have is right for you. If reality hits you, go for supper and check out kips.

Just don't point at one and go "kip!!" as if she can't see you pointing at her.

Ang Heng

A Differance of Difference

In french, the word difference can mean 'to differ' and 'to defer'. These are both concepts I have wrestled with for far so long and recent developments in my life have brought them to the forefront yet again.

Comments from classmates at a function yesterday has made me realise that I spend a lot of time with the foreign students. Firstly, my fellow Singaporean students asked me where the hell I've been. Secondly, a Chinese student peered at me for 2 whole minutes before asking me, "you're actually Singaporean?". I've known her for almost a year now.

Its not that I've become prissy and decided to shun my fellow Singaporeans. Au contraire, I spend my recreational time with Singaporeans, GMH, BJJ and Taichi cases in point. The point is that when I am in school engaging in intellectual endeavours, I cannot help but feel more comfortable within a more cosmopolitan environment.

It is a fact that Singaporeans are not very accepting of new ideas and that they are allergic to radical ideas. This makes life difficult for a student of post-modern/post-structural/critical thought to seek personal development. How do you explain the fluidity and spontaneity you crave in your daily life? It is as bad as explaining to a linkin park fan the finer points of appreciation for phillip glass or miles davis.

It is difficult to be different here. The tyranny of the masses ensures that you are oppressed, repressed and depressed through constant pressures to conform, be it pressures to engage in mass activities for the sake of fashionability or pressures to keep your more random musings to yourself for fear of incurring the wrath of scorn and rejection. This is no environment for intellectual development.

Life in the academia is no doubt challenging and extremely rewarding. Where else can you spar intellectually and bring up the most radical of ideas? Where else can a refugee from the mainstream not feel alienated?

For the professor who believes that I will make a good economist and this is the sort of work experience that is important for everybody, I'm sorry to report that I am not everybody. I am afraid of losing the spark that drives my curiosity and intellect. For the professor who believes that my gift with rational choice and numbers will serve me well in UC San Diego followed by a future in rational political science, I must still maintain that I live by the pen. Being able to follow rational patterns is a survival instinct honed over the years, not a gift at all. No matter how much I relish the challenge of mathematical formulations, I resent having to use such a beautiful instrument for the crude purposes of intellectual survival.

I believe we are all defering our difference in the hope of finding eventual acceptance. Another professor made an interesting point yesterday, he said that great ideas have tended to come from people in exile. In the highly-connected globalized world of today where concepts of national boundaries have become problematic, one cannot help but feel in exile anywhere at all. Perhaps I do not want to keep myself in my intellectual comfort zone.

I want to be challenged for once.

Ang Heng

A Qualification Of Qualifications

This blog post will start with 2 stories.

1) An acquaintance has been sitting at home for the past year, trying to get into a particular bank and trying to clear her modules for her degree from MDIS. Her justification is that with her work experience as a teller, that bank should take her in as an executive, degree or not.

2) A particular country in South East Asia has just realised that it needs to boost the productivity of its workforce in order to compete with other Newly Industrialised Economies. The recession has shown just how risky it is to base an economy on exports and services, both procyclical in nature.

This post may sound elitist, but it is not. It is a story of why we must improve ourselves and not let the bigger fish eat us.

It is common in Singapore to lambast people who pursue educational qualifications. Examples: "cert only what, work experience is more important" or "scholar dunno how to do anything one".

Let me qualify some points with regards to education.

• Getting a degree is never about the qualification, it is partly about gaining the knowledge learnt in your course and more about being able to handle stress and hard work. Employers want workers are exposed to cutting-edge business thought, as well as workers who have proven themselves capable of hardwork and perseverance.
• People who blast scholars are usually at too low a level to understand the things these people do. Higher education trains people for planning and development work, not just ground level labour.
• Higher education also exposes you to an intellectually-stimulating environment. I spend my days at ntu debating and intellectually sparring with diplomats, senior military ranking officers and scholars from many different countries. I may be lowest in the pecking order here, but I am learning how to fit into a new pecking order.
• This leads to personal development. We must always remember to aspire to be like those who are better than us. By interacting with high-flyers, we network with important people of the future. We also learn how they think and how they work, a tried-and-tested means to success.

So to all my friends who are hard at work pursuing an education, bravo to you. I hope you do well in your academic work and learn all the important soft-skills needed to give you that boost in your future career. The best things in life are always earned through sweat and blood.

Remember that as we grow in age, we must also mature and flower in other ways as well, be it intellect, personality or simply a wider world-view. There is a Chow Yun Fatt phrase my dad always tells me, I'll try to translate it from cantonese below. It is a reminder that short-term pain always leads to long-term gains.

Take a step back, now the sky looks wide and the sea is endless. Persevere a little, and the storm will die down.

Ang Heng/JJ

Of Black Holes And Toilet Bowls

Best of the Best.

Conversation 1:
Kumar: Mendi, did you know Zhi Xiang got girlfriend already?
Mendi: Waaah.... aaah oooh aaaahhoaraaaahh (incoherent noises due to tau huay still inside mouth)
Kumar: Haah? What did you say?
Mendi: *More of the same*
Mendi: Like this I will go all out this year liao. Must get Kip liao. My plan is on the road liao.

Conversation 2:
Me: The Voluntary Police work pays $3.60 per hour.
Mendi: Wah so little ah, I get at least $10 per hour looh
Me: Its not about the money, its about giving back to society mah
Mendi: But $3.60 per hour is still very little loooh, siao ah..
Me: I already said its not about the money la, its about giving back to society
Mendi: I don't owe anything to society loh, I make my own money one loooh
Me: You think without society, you can still drive your van, earn money, walk around safely in the country meh?
*No further response*

Conversation 3:
Mendi: Don't have girlfriend, you don't feel hungry meeh?
Me: I already had 2 relationships in a row loh, I think its a good time for a break.
Mendi: I am hungry for love and affection loh...

I take back what I said about the toilet paper and Mendi's mouth in HK. He is a toilet bowl, always making gurgling incoherent noises and severely full of it.

Of course, the black hole refers to the enigma which our dear Mendi is so intent on uncovering. Namely, women. Because they end up sucking up all your money (if she's vain), time (if she's demanding), energy (if she's intellectual) and other stuff (if she's hot).

Because when the love goes supernova, you are left with a deep darkness that is the polar opposite of what love was. A darkness which reminds you that everything is a linear journey to its end and whether we do have a choice or not, maybe it was all the illusion of a coincidence.

JJ/Ang Heng