The empty spaces...

Hi,

After having last than 5hours of sleep last night and being super tired now, I should be sleeping. But I just have to type this entry… Cos it is just 24 hours after my birthday, and life just started to went downhill.

I started to miss her. And it seems like someone had it all planned. I saw her for the first time on MSN. However, like the pass few days smses to her, she did not reply to any of my message, MSN & SMS alike.

“What the hell… if U arrange me to see her on MSN, y not let her talk to me!”

This was what went on ringing in my head.

Then it brought me back to a comment I heard recently…

“U know, if she don’t reply, at least it shows she is constant in her actions.”

Maybe she has read my letter and this is her signs of rejecting me.

I thought I had move on, but Y do I miss her so so so so much now….

Thus I came up with this thinking…

“Before I met her, I block out myself from the outside world. Whatever space I have in my heart, I just fill it with myself. I just started to be very self centered.

After I met her, I release myself from the blockages and started to embrace the outside world. I started to fill my heart with her. I just kept thinking of her no matter what I do or should I say everything I did was for her.

After she left, I tried to release her from my world. I tried to let her go. And as I did, the empty space left by her was just too much to bear. I still miss her.”

…..

Hey guys, if you find me a bit despo of late, please understand that I am just trying to fill up these empty spaces. I think I just need to be entertained by others.

…..

On the bright side, Lulu recently commented that my REN YUAN with the girls are actually very good. And I must agree with that somehow. The reason I have is that I have 2 sisters thus maybe that y I could communicate better with the opposite sex. But Lulu, please understand this REN YUAN I had is not helping my love life. Its still in a mess.

…..

Another comment I had was from a girl, she said I have become more ‘nerd’. For this, I actually have a reason for it. I study like hell for the past year, with a score of zero for having a life. I think this will explain the change in my physical look. Hopefully the new year will change for the better.

……

Who will fill up the empty spaces left by her?

Blackburn