There are two types of running, as far as I'm concerned.
The first type is a form of escapism. You go out there and run as if the hounds of hell were after you. You don't stop until you're exhausted or something gives way, or sometimes both. That was what I used to do, I ran to forget and I ran to see when I'd break.
Lately, I've felt a change come over me. I'm starting to veer towards my second type of running. All you gotta do is set a target, then you chase it. Once you get it, you set a faster pace, longer distance and maybe more torturous route. Its all about looking forward. Its all about trying to break yourself in different ways each time, so that you come out of it a new man again.
I like this style more now. You gotta imagine someone you don't like, imagine he's running faster than you and you gotta beat him. You gotta outrun him, go faster than him and eventually, go faster than yourself.
I guess Newton's law has a part to play in my new philosophy to life now, ironically. F = MA. Achieve critical mass (be it physical or intellectual), keep accelerating, don't stop. Eventually, you'll be a force to be reckoned with.
Ang Heng
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
$1 Bread Loaf, Anyone?
Hi guys,
Firstly forgive me for not providing an update sooner. Setting up internet here is proving to be a test of patience and dexterity. I’ve just got a technician to set up a landline in my room and have applied for the internet. Unlike back in ‘you know where’, they can actually send a technician to set up everything for u. But over here they will send the modem to u and u are expected to call them to set it up. Thus, I haven’t been online at night. My biological clock is tuned to fit the sunrise and now I sleep at 10pm (which is 8pm for u guys) and wake up at 7am (5am).
How is everyone? Glad the blog is more active as usual with ang heng’s posts filled with technical terms. JJ we not Profs la can put in more layman terms anot. Other than the usual posters, where is ppl like Bing, psycho, teh, he quan, ben, mandy, du, and the rest? Tapi all post one-liners very happening man, gives me wonderful insights to your lives.
With alonso’s departure from pool, it emphasizes the need to move on in life and open a new chapter. I’m sad for pool, but elated for him. Haha.. see the parallels I’m drawing with my departure anot? Kong qiu la. Glad that u guys finally are going back ‘home’ to St wilfrid. Remember to jio matthew, tim and desmond. I too have found my soccer home at a field so surreal we have parrots grazing while we play. Pls come visit me here I guarantee the soccer experience of a lifetime. Even mandy can play non-stop for 4 hours in this weather where there is not a single drop of sweat nor smell on my shirt after 2 hours.
Over here they organised a NDP live telecast in a theatre where all Singaporeans are invited to watch the NDP live and say the pledge. Quite interesting. Over the course of my stay here, I met plenty of Singaporeans and Malaysians residing here long term. The numbers were much more than I expected. Btw my pastor looks like zidane. Haha..
Life in school is getting routine. Just did a project with a Sharapova lookalike who was a professional tennis player. Will show u guys photos, taller than me . haha..An interesting story to share is that the gauge of how liberal it is here can be exemplified by my female lecturer. In an audience of 400, and the course was film and television studies, she said the ‘F’ word in the mic when the film she was showing stopped halfway. Everyone laughed.
Food here is expensive, but groceries are a steal. I bought a 700mg loaf of bread for $1. For the uninitiated its twice the amount of gardenia bread and about 15-20 slices. The whole bbq chicken like those u find in cold storage is $8 and its huge. The best part is in cold storage u get bones on the inside, but here they actually put delicious filling!~ And u guys knows me right, if I say its filling means its filling.haha.. On the Kt side, the KFC here sux to the max. Expensive, extremely small and the whipped potato is dry and tasteless. Worst part is, u have to pay for tomato sauce! Siao ah.
Subway here is solid too, $7 for a footlong, cheaper a bit. The best is the movie tix. Coz of my concession, I watched District 9 (PETER JACKSON) for $6.50 on a weekend. And I dunno why, I think the ppl here dun like movies coz it was the opening day and the theatre was 30% filled.
On a more sombre note, anyone can update me on the 2 students killed by the train. It is damn near the place where I used to eat lunch everyday beside school. News feeds are scarce and details are sketchy so I’d appreciate it if got any interesting news to share. Btw I heard PS3 slim released liao and PS3 normal ones are cheaper now. All go buy liao mai tu!~~
K guys got to return to my assignments liao. Take care to all of u guys. I’m gonna join an unconventional CCA here if I mention u won’t believe it. It was too tempting and is a chance of a lifetime coz they don’t have it in Singapore. So stay tuned. Pics will be up in 2 weeks once my home internet is up. Send my regards to the sporty lao kip at st wilfrid and the dessert stall at Boon keng.
Till then, G’DAY MATES~!
alvin
Firstly forgive me for not providing an update sooner. Setting up internet here is proving to be a test of patience and dexterity. I’ve just got a technician to set up a landline in my room and have applied for the internet. Unlike back in ‘you know where’, they can actually send a technician to set up everything for u. But over here they will send the modem to u and u are expected to call them to set it up. Thus, I haven’t been online at night. My biological clock is tuned to fit the sunrise and now I sleep at 10pm (which is 8pm for u guys) and wake up at 7am (5am).
How is everyone? Glad the blog is more active as usual with ang heng’s posts filled with technical terms. JJ we not Profs la can put in more layman terms anot. Other than the usual posters, where is ppl like Bing, psycho, teh, he quan, ben, mandy, du, and the rest? Tapi all post one-liners very happening man, gives me wonderful insights to your lives.
With alonso’s departure from pool, it emphasizes the need to move on in life and open a new chapter. I’m sad for pool, but elated for him. Haha.. see the parallels I’m drawing with my departure anot? Kong qiu la. Glad that u guys finally are going back ‘home’ to St wilfrid. Remember to jio matthew, tim and desmond. I too have found my soccer home at a field so surreal we have parrots grazing while we play. Pls come visit me here I guarantee the soccer experience of a lifetime. Even mandy can play non-stop for 4 hours in this weather where there is not a single drop of sweat nor smell on my shirt after 2 hours.
Over here they organised a NDP live telecast in a theatre where all Singaporeans are invited to watch the NDP live and say the pledge. Quite interesting. Over the course of my stay here, I met plenty of Singaporeans and Malaysians residing here long term. The numbers were much more than I expected. Btw my pastor looks like zidane. Haha..
Life in school is getting routine. Just did a project with a Sharapova lookalike who was a professional tennis player. Will show u guys photos, taller than me . haha..An interesting story to share is that the gauge of how liberal it is here can be exemplified by my female lecturer. In an audience of 400, and the course was film and television studies, she said the ‘F’ word in the mic when the film she was showing stopped halfway. Everyone laughed.
Food here is expensive, but groceries are a steal. I bought a 700mg loaf of bread for $1. For the uninitiated its twice the amount of gardenia bread and about 15-20 slices. The whole bbq chicken like those u find in cold storage is $8 and its huge. The best part is in cold storage u get bones on the inside, but here they actually put delicious filling!~ And u guys knows me right, if I say its filling means its filling.haha.. On the Kt side, the KFC here sux to the max. Expensive, extremely small and the whipped potato is dry and tasteless. Worst part is, u have to pay for tomato sauce! Siao ah.
Subway here is solid too, $7 for a footlong, cheaper a bit. The best is the movie tix. Coz of my concession, I watched District 9 (PETER JACKSON) for $6.50 on a weekend. And I dunno why, I think the ppl here dun like movies coz it was the opening day and the theatre was 30% filled.
On a more sombre note, anyone can update me on the 2 students killed by the train. It is damn near the place where I used to eat lunch everyday beside school. News feeds are scarce and details are sketchy so I’d appreciate it if got any interesting news to share. Btw I heard PS3 slim released liao and PS3 normal ones are cheaper now. All go buy liao mai tu!~~
K guys got to return to my assignments liao. Take care to all of u guys. I’m gonna join an unconventional CCA here if I mention u won’t believe it. It was too tempting and is a chance of a lifetime coz they don’t have it in Singapore. So stay tuned. Pics will be up in 2 weeks once my home internet is up. Send my regards to the sporty lao kip at st wilfrid and the dessert stall at Boon keng.
Till then, G’DAY MATES~!
alvin
Moral High Ground
Our conversation over supper tonight (or last night) was quite stimulating. To say the least. 3 Words: Moral High Ground.
There is a stark difference between saying something and being something. Language is already a first degree deference from the subject. The more we talk about something, the further we are from the reality of it. That is po-mo mumbo jumbo I know, but its true. This is why we talk isn't it? To vent out emotions which cannot be healthy if left unchecked. If we want less decadence, we must talk about decadence a great deal more, to internalise it into the social system and to innoculate ourselves by exposure to the subject. Victorian society is proof of that.
The biggest misunderstanding of GMH is underestimating our ability to codeswitch. We are (or most of us are, at any rate) able to switch our behaviour between differing circumstances because of our (again, most of our) inherently mutli-faceted personalities. Want to di siao? No problem. Want to talk sense? Why not? Intellectual conversation? Bring it on.
Remember, culture has a tendency to permeate society from high (brow) to low (brow). Ideologies arise from the lower masses, only to gain traction with the middle and upper classes at a later date. Not to forget, change is frequently a result of the dialectic. So, we must be aware of both below and above, by straddling the middle. I, for one, am trying not to allow myself to be enclosed within one mind-frame at a time. Its not an easy thing to do, but effort (not condemnation) is good enough.
Empathy (and verstehen) is the one thing that makes us human.
Ang Heng
There is a stark difference between saying something and being something. Language is already a first degree deference from the subject. The more we talk about something, the further we are from the reality of it. That is po-mo mumbo jumbo I know, but its true. This is why we talk isn't it? To vent out emotions which cannot be healthy if left unchecked. If we want less decadence, we must talk about decadence a great deal more, to internalise it into the social system and to innoculate ourselves by exposure to the subject. Victorian society is proof of that.
The biggest misunderstanding of GMH is underestimating our ability to codeswitch. We are (or most of us are, at any rate) able to switch our behaviour between differing circumstances because of our (again, most of our) inherently mutli-faceted personalities. Want to di siao? No problem. Want to talk sense? Why not? Intellectual conversation? Bring it on.
Remember, culture has a tendency to permeate society from high (brow) to low (brow). Ideologies arise from the lower masses, only to gain traction with the middle and upper classes at a later date. Not to forget, change is frequently a result of the dialectic. So, we must be aware of both below and above, by straddling the middle. I, for one, am trying not to allow myself to be enclosed within one mind-frame at a time. Its not an easy thing to do, but effort (not condemnation) is good enough.
Empathy (and verstehen) is the one thing that makes us human.
Ang Heng
Saturday, August 15, 2009
On a long and lonesome highway east of Omaha.
Driving down the highway at 120kph, with the sweet, sweet sounds of a fender telecaster thinline fed through an ibanez tube-screamer and hooked up to a marshall stack.
When was the last time you felt as if you didn't have to give a piss about the state of the world (and its unfortunate inhabitants) today?
I have never been able to lose myself to the moment (In fact, I find it hard to lose myself to or in anything non-geographic in nature). In consolation, I have always been able to find myself in the moment. Then lose the moment in its entirety. Thus I spend too much time being mindful of my consciousness, hoping that when the moment comes, I can appreciate it beyond its descriptive value as a measure of time past.
Of course, being overly conscious of the self accentuates that inability to lose yourself, even if it may allow deeper introspection at that crucial moment.
So I had to write, before I lose the moment again. That feeling of having all arrows point forward and not having to care about the rear-view mirror because it hardly differed from the front, yet it had to defer to the front. The feeling of speed, freedom and that slight tugging on your heart every time that telecaster hit a high note and faded off with whammy-induced reverb.
I had to write because I wanted to turn the moment into momentum.
Ang Heng
When was the last time you felt as if you didn't have to give a piss about the state of the world (and its unfortunate inhabitants) today?
I have never been able to lose myself to the moment (In fact, I find it hard to lose myself to or in anything non-geographic in nature). In consolation, I have always been able to find myself in the moment. Then lose the moment in its entirety. Thus I spend too much time being mindful of my consciousness, hoping that when the moment comes, I can appreciate it beyond its descriptive value as a measure of time past.
Of course, being overly conscious of the self accentuates that inability to lose yourself, even if it may allow deeper introspection at that crucial moment.
So I had to write, before I lose the moment again. That feeling of having all arrows point forward and not having to care about the rear-view mirror because it hardly differed from the front, yet it had to defer to the front. The feeling of speed, freedom and that slight tugging on your heart every time that telecaster hit a high note and faded off with whammy-induced reverb.
I had to write because I wanted to turn the moment into momentum.
Ang Heng
Sunday, August 09, 2009
NEW BALL!
In the loving memory of
yet another ball to kena the chee-ba-boom treatment,
we welcome this pweety little thing into our family!
hehhh! pretty boh? $22 nia, I used it today at The Cage liao..
kayy, now jobless abit eng, cya guys tmr!
HAPPY NATIONAL DAY!
HUAT AH!
*amendi*
Thursday, August 06, 2009
The nightmare has started...
Hello,
It has been a long time since I wrote anything for the blog. Cos I’m dead tired, emotionally and physically. Too many things have happened since I started work. It was supposed to be good. And initially it was good until I had too many “complications” in my mind.
Before I start on the complications, I just want to thank Amendi for recovering my beautiful “EMO” posts.
And also to Alonso, glad you have found some light in your life now. Enjoy while you can. Seriously I thought of going over to, working has drained the soul out of my life. Sometimes I really have the Deja Vu feel that you talk about. Am I trying too hard to prove myself? Nowadays, I sleep on the bus to work, on the bus back home. Reach home, I also sleep at 11+. Very tired. And I am only into my 2nd month at work, how am I going to Tahan the next 10 mths?
Many of you must be thinking, this is life, this is work! So bear with it! But is this really the life that we study so hard for and work so hard towards? Anyway, I am not the kind of guy that call it quits so early on. But there is other stuff, other complications that is draining me...
Firstly, I am just starting to have my first-hand politics. Talk too much – kana complain. Listen to music with ear piece on – ALSO cannot (Whenever I listen, I am quiet k? – Get the irony). Furthermore, the songs I listen to are Linkin Park Songs, Justin Timberlake Songs and Other R&B hip hop songs and THEY EXPECT ME TO NOT USE EAR PIECE. I think the fact that I am using ear piece is that I am just being considerate! The next worse thing is that I am sitting next to the director office and in front of the compliance team. Whatever I do, sure kana backstab by people. The fact is I already did not use the internet for personal stuff (other than a particular Friday searching for movie – And Kana Seen by my “Xiao-Lao-Ban” using it, Never use it for any personal use) and just trying my best to enjoy DOING THE SAME WORK OVER AND OVER AGAIN. And still I kana complained. Laugh too loud also cannot. Too restrictive. Not use to it.
Secondly, I worked 25 hrs of FOC OT for my company last month. If I am paid, I got nothing to say. BUT IT IS ALL FOC!
Before I end, I hope to meet up with GMH guys soon! And my army friends too! The only group of friends whom I think really knows me. As well as my bestie!
Ps. Sorry for all the wrong use of English words and sentence structure. Pls bear with it.
Blackburn
It has been a long time since I wrote anything for the blog. Cos I’m dead tired, emotionally and physically. Too many things have happened since I started work. It was supposed to be good. And initially it was good until I had too many “complications” in my mind.
Before I start on the complications, I just want to thank Amendi for recovering my beautiful “EMO” posts.
And also to Alonso, glad you have found some light in your life now. Enjoy while you can. Seriously I thought of going over to, working has drained the soul out of my life. Sometimes I really have the Deja Vu feel that you talk about. Am I trying too hard to prove myself? Nowadays, I sleep on the bus to work, on the bus back home. Reach home, I also sleep at 11+. Very tired. And I am only into my 2nd month at work, how am I going to Tahan the next 10 mths?
Many of you must be thinking, this is life, this is work! So bear with it! But is this really the life that we study so hard for and work so hard towards? Anyway, I am not the kind of guy that call it quits so early on. But there is other stuff, other complications that is draining me...
Firstly, I am just starting to have my first-hand politics. Talk too much – kana complain. Listen to music with ear piece on – ALSO cannot (Whenever I listen, I am quiet k? – Get the irony). Furthermore, the songs I listen to are Linkin Park Songs, Justin Timberlake Songs and Other R&B hip hop songs and THEY EXPECT ME TO NOT USE EAR PIECE. I think the fact that I am using ear piece is that I am just being considerate! The next worse thing is that I am sitting next to the director office and in front of the compliance team. Whatever I do, sure kana backstab by people. The fact is I already did not use the internet for personal stuff (other than a particular Friday searching for movie – And Kana Seen by my “Xiao-Lao-Ban” using it, Never use it for any personal use) and just trying my best to enjoy DOING THE SAME WORK OVER AND OVER AGAIN. And still I kana complained. Laugh too loud also cannot. Too restrictive. Not use to it.
Secondly, I worked 25 hrs of FOC OT for my company last month. If I am paid, I got nothing to say. BUT IT IS ALL FOC!
Before I end, I hope to meet up with GMH guys soon! And my army friends too! The only group of friends whom I think really knows me. As well as my bestie!
Ps. Sorry for all the wrong use of English words and sentence structure. Pls bear with it.
Blackburn
Saturday, August 01, 2009
Viva La Revol-ve-ution!
You know Singapore is a damn small country when you get deja vu frequently.
First was watching movies. For some reason, walking down the row of cinemas, each with their digital displays announcing the title of the movie, reminds me of a dream I've had before. Then again, like any theatre of war, cinemas today vary only in the differing brands of sex and violence they are serving.
Second time was my lecture at rsis. I kept getting this strange feeling I've seen these people before, been in that lecture before, and studied the same stuff before. However, there may be a logical explanation for this. Any graduate of the social sciences will tell you that a lecture on research methods is bound to bring on deja vu.
I remember a scene in the matrix. The one with the black cat, and with keanu reeves muttering 'deja vu' (whoa, stoic as ever). An omen of change to come? I don't believe in omens. The simulacrum? Maybe. A copy of a copy may just become truth and reality. Where am I going with this? I don't know. They say hell is repetition. I think repetition is hell. All I know is that 'everyday is exactly the same' and it is the conflict from the breaking of the cycle that change begins.
Then again, this could all just be the result of 1000 pages of readings a week and that constant ghost of a nagging at the back of my head, telling me to frigging get my act (and dissertation topic) together. Ever poked a scab and felt good everytime you felt that little numbing pain? Now blow that up a thousand folds and welcome to my world. I love what I'm doing, but it is accompanied by the numbing sort of fatigue at the end of each day. Reading the papers in the morning is a whole new sensation now.
I don't know how this got started, but I know exactly how it will end.
Ang Heng
First was watching movies. For some reason, walking down the row of cinemas, each with their digital displays announcing the title of the movie, reminds me of a dream I've had before. Then again, like any theatre of war, cinemas today vary only in the differing brands of sex and violence they are serving.
Second time was my lecture at rsis. I kept getting this strange feeling I've seen these people before, been in that lecture before, and studied the same stuff before. However, there may be a logical explanation for this. Any graduate of the social sciences will tell you that a lecture on research methods is bound to bring on deja vu.
I remember a scene in the matrix. The one with the black cat, and with keanu reeves muttering 'deja vu' (whoa, stoic as ever). An omen of change to come? I don't believe in omens. The simulacrum? Maybe. A copy of a copy may just become truth and reality. Where am I going with this? I don't know. They say hell is repetition. I think repetition is hell. All I know is that 'everyday is exactly the same' and it is the conflict from the breaking of the cycle that change begins.
Then again, this could all just be the result of 1000 pages of readings a week and that constant ghost of a nagging at the back of my head, telling me to frigging get my act (and dissertation topic) together. Ever poked a scab and felt good everytime you felt that little numbing pain? Now blow that up a thousand folds and welcome to my world. I love what I'm doing, but it is accompanied by the numbing sort of fatigue at the end of each day. Reading the papers in the morning is a whole new sensation now.
I don't know how this got started, but I know exactly how it will end.
Ang Heng
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