Letters from the fringes

I have just been reminded by Psycho that I haven't written here for very long, which is true. By some fluke, I've managed to get myself started prematurely on persuing my doctoral dreams and so begins my journey into the fringe and the void. (more than 3 months in, I'm starting to get the twilight zone feeling on increasing occasions during the week)

Almost like persuing any dreams at all, graduate studies are intense and isolating. (Psycho, please take note for future reference) You spend days holed up either in your cubicle at the office or at your study desk at home, reading piles of papers and writing pages of work yourself. You spend Friday and Saturday nights writing because you just spent all week (in its entirety, I'm not joking) doing research. All the people you interact with on a daily basis are either geeks, weirdos, or really important people who can't be bothered to speak more than a sentence to you.

I can't say I'm complaining, because frankly I enjoy the quiet time and the sense of fulfilment when I look at the product of my hard work each night. I feel terrible when I realise I haven't achieved anything on any particular day.

Then there are the endless hours of data-crunching.

I remember doing Econometrics as an undergraduate some years back, I hated it and vowed never to have anything more to do with it upon graduation. (being the hardcore Keynesian economist that I was) I run regressions every week now, using data I collected from databases and government statistical boards. So it is, that we must do the things we dislike early so that we can do the things we love later. We also do the things we dislike early so that someday we can learn to do things that make a difference to others.

Unabashedly, I always tell people that I want to contribute to knowledge and process, whether in the academia or policy circles. Who doesn't want to have an impact on the world they're born in? Life is not a game, there's no reset button. They may be an afterlife, or there may not be. I'm not taking any chances. We all learn to work hard today, because tomorrow may simply be one day less for us to make a difference to this world. As an academic, I face a countdown timer. I now have 34 years left to produce the most important piece of work in my life-time, one that will define who I am and what I represent.

34 years is surely sufficient to churn out many papers and many books, but it's not a lot of time to write a magnus opus.

AH