Thanks OL for the heartfelt post. Hope to see more of the same from other ppl. Sorry for the late reply as I had no internet for the past few wks since I moved in to my new place. Things have only now become more settled especially since the start of semester and the added responsibility of being a tour guide to Luis Mendieta.
Firstly I’d like to apologise to OL for not replying your sms. I know it’s a lame reason but as you know I’m on the most basic hp plan, so every sms and call I make is costing and counts at the end of the month ($300 plus to be exact). I knew you would have contacted mandy and since he knew my birthday was super packed to meet up, he would have told you. Thus I did not reply you, hope you understand and that I appreciate the thought and well wishes!
The point I would most like to respond to is about ‘GMH not going anywhere’. Define ‘going somewhere’. ‘Misfits’ I agree to a large extent. ‘Underachievers’ I entirely disagree. I thought I knew what ‘achievement’ meant until I left sg. It is a super duper subjective term, so I’m unsure what you mean by why we cannot be something like other ppl. In fact, I’d be damned if I were to be like them. But that is a totally different topic for another day.
I understand the point you are trying to get across about other groups being able to meet up often, lend a listening ear to each other and essentially ‘grow’ together.
From my point of view, the crux of the matter lies gravely on societal pressures and trying to conform. As ppl get caught up in rat race, suddenly meeting an emo OL after work becomes a tiresome chore or even an impossibility for some coz of OT. This results in various kts that OL is trying to highlight.
This brings me to the point about making choices. We are no longer in secondary school. I’m darn sure at this age we make the choices about life knowing fully the consequences and what it promises to deliver. Like OL said, we all have different priorities in life. Everyone has the right to make their own choices. I respect that.
Simply put, if you choose a lifestyle or a job that entails draining the energy out of you in such a way that it is a challenge to meet a friend for dinner, I totally respect that and have no ill feelings whatsoever. You have made your decision out of your own free will, with no one forcing you, knowing full well what it means when you signed that contract and entirely aware of the consequences. If this is the life you choose, then good for you. There is no right or wrong coz you are entitled to your own set of priorities. Other ppl may differ, thus the misunderstandings.
I humbly seek your understanding if I have turned down shopping, dining and especially movies over weekends. As I have explained to some, the crowds simply turn me off. I’d rather stay at home and watch CNN than get on the train with 10000 frowny faces to Orchard, especially not after living overseas. As I mentioned above, I prefer to meet on weeknights supper, some of you prefer wkends. No one is right or wrong, just different life choices we made. However, I’m glad and entirely appreciative that I had regular meetups both on wkdays and wkends. This gives me great optimism that for GMH to return to its former glory, everyone has to meet halfway. And I have seen glimpses of that in the months I was back.
I think the entire Kumar post is simply stating the obvious. We all know who we are in his post and exactly what he is referring to. It was just a matter of him putting it down in words. We all know the problems that exist and some just choose to ignore and do nothing about it. I highly doubt his post will have long term effects but OL pls update me if I’m wrong.
One undeniable fact is that we are all pulling towards different directions in life. Some enjoy the busy life, some enjoy the peaceful life. That is why I thank God everyday for his blessings by showing me that there is a totally different world out there that is entirely contrary to the life I was brought up to live in. And I pray that you guys find your sanctuary someday. And if you already did, congratulations!
In conclusion, in the pursuit of happiness, just make bloody sure you are truly happy when you get there.
I attached this vid to lighten the mood and give u guys some options for a holiday or a permanent escape. Enjoy!~
God Bless,
alonso
(ps: I think it’s damn ironic that when OL is putting his point across about ppl being bo chup, 3 ppl chose to not leave their names after reading his post. Out of the 5 comments made, only 2 have a name under it. I have zero idea who the heck the other 3 are, it may be a bot for all we know. But having said that, at least they replied coz I got a feelin some may have read it and choose to ignore totally. Haha…)
2 comments:
Dear Alvin,
Apreciate the response.
On "underachievers":
To me, at this stage of our lives, an achiever is someone working towards realising his/her individual potential to the fullest extent possible so that he is the best version of himself for himself and the people around him. This is almost always a 'work in progress' but the process is just as important as the outcome itself. Yes, defining 'achievement' is subjective because it is up to the individual. One inevitably has to compare himself to the people around him to get a sense of the environment, for we don't exist in a vacuum, but the definition of that term ultimately has to be one's own. Just like you, I certainly believe in being myself and not a blind follower of 'other people', but it doesn't hurt to look around for some ideas or inspiration. When I described many of us as 'underachievers', it is because many of us, myself included, could make some changes that better allow us to realise our potential. Ang Heng is a superb example of that. During our secondary school days, I knew AH was a very talented and capable guy, but he was not yet on the path to realising his abilities. A few years later, he took control of his life, made some changes, and along with some help from friends and family, is on the path he is today. He is very far from his eventual destination, but breaking out of that vicious cycle onto a virtuous cycle has made a world of difference. By extension, 'going somewhere' as a group would mean a group of friends who help each other in working towards that 'best version' of themselves, gaining new experiences and making new memories together. Granted, GMH has come a long way and we have made progress, I'm not forgetting that, but we have entered a new phase of life that promises to be more chllenging. This calls for a little reflection and loads of resolve as individuals and as a group.
Frankly, my greatest lesson was when I was at my lowest, when I learned to bite the dust and taste the bitterness of failure. Never numb yourself, or run away from the pain. But learn from it, and accept that it will be back.
I know pressures to grow up are never nice, but sometimes we do need them. For instance, I'm staying away from the rat race by pursuing intellectual enlightenment. I think Kumar knows this, but I hope someday to make my mark in the realm of ideology, write my magnus opus and leave it all behind. I will not get rich, nor famous. If I'm really good, my work will only be read long after I'm dead.
And this is what growing up is all about, remembering to return to the society that brought you up, working hard with no prospect of rewards whatsoever. Being a better friend/partner/spouse/parent someday, by being wiser and giving love copiously.
Most importantly, never believe that there'll always be time tomorrow. I love the hard work that I get to do, and truly each new day of work is a gift to me. Not only because I have less than 50 years left of my life to make a contribution, but also because today may be my last, and I doubt there'll ever be another chance to do/say whatever I want to.
AH
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