I am tired.. God noes when this is gg to stop, but i noe it wont be that soon, or perhaps that day will nv arrive. I always wake up in the middle of the nite. My heart hurts, like needles piercing through it.. The feeling is torturing, but i have to endure it. I tried to occupy myself wif other stuff, but to no avail. She is always on my mind.. I smoke compulsively, hoping to reduce the agony inside me. I started to feel pain on my chest, and I noe this is a sign for mi to quit.. But I realize I cant.
She is young and immature, and wants to haf fun. She needs a lot of care and attention from mi. Unfortunately, I din meet her expectation. I dun blame her for leaving mi coz I was at fault too, and she is young to understand certain things. But I am utterly disappointed when she pushed all the blame to me.
Last Saturday, I went to haf dinner wif my uni friends. They planned to watch soccer after that. I din follow, coz she was there. Instead I went to clark quay alone, drinking by the riverside. That is the place where we celebrated our 3th mth anniversary. It has been a long time since I shed tears, as i reminisced the good old days we had together.
It’s a fact that we can nv be together. I am confuse, coz I dun noe if I am still waiting. Alvin is right. I need to throw throw morals and righteousness out of the window and go with the flow. But I noe my character too well.
To all my buddies, i am blessed to have you guys in my life. You all are there for mi when I’m in trouble. I will stay strong, coz I haf too much things to do in life. I am so sorry that I neglected you all during my school term. I will make it a point to spend more time wif u all in the future.
Lulu
2 comments:
Dun Worry about us...
U just know we will be there!
When we needed help, u were always there for us. For that I couldn't thank u enough. There's no way I'm gonna leave u in the lurch. I know how u feel coz I've been through it, not once but twice. I hope we can both grow stronger.
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