Nice Guys End Up Last...

Hi all,

What has happened to the freaking world...? I am not just talking about girls… but humans generally. As my title says it all, nice guys always end up last.

Let’s just start with my family, excluding my father, mother, sisters and my grandparents. I think the rest of them are freaking ******. I shall not go into details. It’s not nice to say bad things about our family. The worst case scenario is that I may not have a house to live in when I reach home one day. Bad things happen when people live together. These things tend to happen only to nice people.

Whatever it is, whenever you thought all is over, it starts again… For this, I am saying about the other side of human beings. The Bad one…

There is just so much anger and sadness in me right now. So if you do not understand what I am talking about, pardon me.

The other thing is what I have been confused about. How can someone treat you so nice one moment and so cold the next?

For me, Sms is an important factor in life. A Sms means a thought. It can be something nice or bad. It does not matter, cos at least the person thought of you.

Recently, I have been messaging “her” and she did not reply. But whenever she messages me, I replied her straight away. Afterwards, when I message, she will not reply me. I can take it that she is busy and cannot reply me. But why does it happen so frequently?

There is a reason y I become so emotional when she did not reply me, cos I have fell for her. I’m falling into this black hole where I don’t know what’s happening next. I don’t even know if she is interested in me. Maybe she just treats me as a friend, a very good friend.

Whenever we are in the office, we chit chat like there is no tomorrow. I really feel the chemistry is there. But after work or during weekends, I will have the cold shoulder from her. It likes whatever happened during office hours is a dream, not a reality. That is why I think maybe she only treat me as a friend.

Another reason I become so emotional is because of a few factors. Firstly, I think she is a really nice girl. She may not be the prettiest, but she is really nice. I never thought I will meet someone this nice after Rachel. Secondly, despite working in the Christian organization, I met her, someone not of the Christian religion. I must say I do not have anything against Christians, just that I had bad experience before with people of this religion. Thirdly, it is the chemistry. It is something I never feel for a long time. Fourthly, it’s the reciprocation I felt from her. Even when I am not sure whether she likes me, she seems to be giving back at times. Lastly, it is her smile. I really like it when she smiles. Even if it’s at me, it does not matter. I just hope she is happy.

Anyway, I will only be seeing her for another week or so. Thus, I am worried. I may never know if she liked me. In fact, I actually have plans up my sleeve but friends have talked me out of it. They told me not to dig my own grave.

But really, I do not need her to be my GF… I just want to know how she feels about me. Are we just suitable as friends or is progress possible? I know she is the type that will take some time. However, is this really that hard?

I am also worried. I may just be freeze by her coldness after she leaves her position in the organization on 19 May. Then, I may never know the truth nor have the opportunity to meet her again.

My friends have told me to take it easy and ask her to stay in contact. I guess that’s all I can do now. After all, I also hope to not lose her as a friend.

For all those stupid stuff that I have done for her, hopefully she’ll appreciate one day.

Nice guys will always end up last… This is the only truth out there…

Again… Pardon me for my structuring, my vocabulary, my language and my writing. I am just feeling so lousy right now and need a place to pour my sorrows.

Blackburn